1.God Wants Us to Wait
I think I know what you would like us to do
When we have children let's have 72
Until then we must be resigned to our fate
I love you, baby, but God wants us to wait
I guess it's true I should have told you before
And not have waited 'til we're nude on the floor
Though it would be the perfect end to our date
I love you, baby, but God wants us to wait
Now you might like to kiss the dew on my hem
But one male and female created He them
Our Lord intended us forever to mate
I love you, baby, but God wants us to wait
Despite my beauty and the scent of jasmine
Could you be happy in the knowledge of sin？
Although it may not be a crime in our state
I love you, baby, but God wants us to wait
How much more wonderful to anticipate
I love you, baby, but God wants us to wait
2.Andrew in Drag
A pity she does not exist
A shame he's not a fag
The only girl I ever loved was
Andrew in drag
There is no hope of love for me
From here on I'll go stag
The only girl I'll ever love is
Andrew in drag
Andrew in drag
Andrew in drag
Andrew in drag
Yeah
I don't know why I even went
It's really not my bag
Just thought it might be funny to see
Andrew in drag
The moment he walked on the stage
My tail began to wag
Wag like a little wiener dog for
Andrew in drag
Andrew in drag, Andrew in drag
Andrew in drag
Yeah
I've always been a ladies' man
And I don't have to brag
But I'd become a momma's boy for
Andrew in drag
I'd sign away my trust fund
I would even sell the Jag
If I could spend my misspent youth with
Andrew in drag
Andrew in drag
Andrew in drag
Andrew in drag
Yeah
So stick him in a dress and
He's the only boy I'd shag
The only boy I'd anything is
Andrew in drag
I'll never see that girl again
He did it as a gag
I'll pine away forevermore for
Andrew in drag
3.Your Girlfriend's Face
So I've taken a contract out on you
I have hired a hitman to do what they do
He will do his best to do his worst
After he's messed up your girlfriend first
I said he'll do his worst
To your girlfriend first
'Cause I've hired the fixer for her too
For stealing my lover and making me blue
He'll have to hose off your twisting place
After he blows off your girlfriend's face
I want the whole bloody place
Wet with your girlfriend's face
So I've taken a contract out on y'all
For make me feel infinitely small
In the evenings I devise your death
Being buried alive on crystal meth
Baby, I'd give you death
By, by, by crystal meth
Baby, I'd give you death
By, by, by crystal meth
4.Born For Love
Hey little cutie
I was born for love
Can't count the chains I have worn for love
Killed three men and one unicorn for love
But I won't mind if you just take me home
Hey little darling
I was made for love
Got down on my knees and I prayed for love
Crawled from Tonga to Adelaide for love
But I won't mind if you just take me home
I know you've been lonely and misunderstood
But I'm yours for the asking
For now or for good
If you want me to leave you just give me a shove
But you won't
Because I was born for love
Hey little cutie
I was born for love
Can't count the chains I have worn for love
Killed three men and one (een!) unicorn for love
But I won't mind if you just take me home
5.I'd Go Anywhere with Hugh
I'd go anywhere with Hugh
Hugh's the kind of boy I take to
Mother of God, if he only knew
I'd go anywhere with Hugh
I'd do anything for him
Sacrebleu when the lights are dim
I'd entertain each and every whim
I'd do anything for him
I love Hugh
And Hugh loves you
You love me
And he does not
I don't love you
You don't love Hugh
What a sad gevalt
Hugh'd go anywhere with you
Hugh would take you to Timbukto
You would do anything for me
Me, I'd go anywhere with Hugh
Who'd do anything for you
Who'd go anywhere with me
I'd do anything for Hugh
He would go anywhere with you
6.Infatuation (With Your Gyration)
Infatuation
With your gyration
That's my fixation, I'm (infatuated with you)
Infatuated with you (infatuated with)
Thumping to the thumping
Jumping to the pumping
Leaping to the beeping thing on the dance floor
Thumping to the pumping
Pumping to the jumping
Beeping to the leaping thing on the dance floor
Infatuation
With your gyration
That's my fixation, I'm (infatuated with you)
Infatuated with you (infatuated with)
Infatuation
With your gyration
That's my fixation, I'm (infatuated with you)
Infatuated with you (infatuated with)
Thumping to the thumping
Jumping to the pumping
Leaping to the beeping thing on the dance floor
Thumping to the pumping
Pumping to the jumping
Beeping to the leaping thing on the dance floor
Infatuation
With your gyration
That's my fixation, I'm (infatuated with you)
Infatuated with you (infatuated with)
Infatuation
With your gyration
7.The Only Boy in Town
Oh if only you were the only boy in town
For then I could not play the field and let you down
I would not go half-mad for each passing lad
With eyes of blue, green, gray, or brown
No, if only you were the only boy in town
Oh if only you were the only boy in France
Our life would not be like one long, long, long seance
I think I would endeavor to love you forever
Instead of only for the nonce
If-if only you were the only boy in France
With the only boy in town
With the only available male
In the loneliest possible world
There would be no daily betrayal
Oh if only you were the only boy alive
And I were the queen of our small, small, small beehive
Though more pricks than a cactus may always distract us
Would they all take up all my sex drive？
Not-not-not if you were the only boy alive
Oh if only you were the only boy in town
Oh if only you were the only boy in France
8.The Machine in Your Hand
I want to be the machine in your hand and go wherever you go
Your every touch would be my command and I wouldn't be so slow
We'd be together in Wonderland and I'd light you with my glow
I want to be the machine in your hand and go wherever you go
I don't know why I love you
You're not really a person
More a gadget with meat stuck to it
I see less and less of you
As you worsen and worsen
I think you're disappearing through it
No doubt you're just ahead of the curve
I only wish that I had the nerve to say
I want to be the machine in your hand and go wherever you go
Your every touch would be my command and I wouldn't be so slow
We'd be together in Wonderland and I'd light you with my glow
I want to be the machine in your hand and go wherever you go
You can hold me for hours
Wouldn't that be terrific？
We can feel our connection growing
I'll have magical powers
Only less scientific
You and I will become all knowing
Such a machine, what would it be worth？
Stick with me, kid, we'll conquer the earth
I want to be the machine in your hand and go wherever you go
Your every touch would be my command and I wouldn't be so slow
We'd be together in Wonderland and I'd light you with my glow
I want to be the machine in your hand and go wherever you go
9.Goin' Back to the Country
I'm going back to the country
City life's too slow
I'm sick of that 120 BPM funk and disco
I'm going eight-one-eighty
Break out the fiddle tunes
I'm still that barefoot lady howling up at full moons
And I'm gonna fly back to Wyoming
And never more my friends I'll go a-roaming
I'm gonna fly back to Laramie
Let Laramie take care of me till they bury me
I'm going back to the country
The big city's too small
I don't need more than one tree house but there's none at all
I'm hanging up the tire swing
A hammock in the yard
I'll hear an angel choir sing as I wing countryward
And I'm gonna find me a country boy
And have a couple country kids, Leanne and Leroy
And we're gonna wind down those country roads
And sing and play the dulcimer till this world explodes
10.I've Run Away to Join the Fairies
I've run away to join the fairies
This mortal world has lost its charms
I'll be a flower for their garden
Never to hold you in my arms
They will enchance me and enslave me
And make of me their fool for fun
Upon my head they'll place an ass head
More or less as you've always done
I loved you like I was your baby
Although you couldn't even fly
And though you held no Eldritch secrets
All too enthralled to you was I
In yonder forest grows a toadstool
To make the mind of man grow small
They will mistake me for their changeling
I wasn't human after all
11.The Horrible Party
Take me away from this horrible party
And let me get home to Mother
Don't make me stay at this horrible party
And I'll never go to another
People are shedding their inhibitions and their clothes
Many are sprawled on divans painting each other's toes
Everyone seems to be stuffing something up his nose
A player piano is tinkling 'Anything Goes' again and again
Deliver me from this horrible party
And I will give you some money
Why, why are we at this horrible party？
And I don't see what's so funny
Here in the darkness known hitherto only to moles
People are using the slang they picked up from the proles
Everyone's finding new uses for muffs and mink stoles
And 'Anything Goes' goes again, have they no other rolls？
Some plastic surgeon's done terrible things to poor Jane
Making her terrifically popular, men are insane
'Anything goes' is the motto and endless refrain
My dear, it was heaven until they ran out of champagne
12.My Husband's Pied-a-Terre
I know of a groovy place
Where every girl of every race,
Age, and bra size, and IQ
Goes when she feels broke or blue
It's a place more women stay
Than the YWCA
Go there once, you get the key
So every girl's been there but me
Where's a minx get minks to wear
Why, my husband's pied-à-terre
In two drinks, you think she'll care
That's my husband's pied-à-terre
Every alley cat in town
Knows my husband's flat in town
Better get your derriere
To my husband's pied-a-terre
Love is in the very air
Of my husband's pied-à-terre
I understand the latest fad
Is my husband's bachelor pad
All the classes mingle there
At my husband's pied-à-terre
There is not one single chair
In my husband's pied-à-terre
When I find this loony bin
I am going to do him in
13.I Don't Like Your Tone
You sigh that I should try your love
I'll never be alone
That you are true, you coo, my dove
But I don't like your tone
You were, you murmur, further just a child
But now you're grown
You hiss that this is bliss, God blessed
But I don't like your tone
What's with all this purring？
Are you a cat？
Why are we whispering？
Love's not like that
When near I hear how clear you make
Your so called feelings known
It's queer, my dear, I fear heartbreak
But I don't like your tone
14.Quick!
You better think of something quick before I don't love you no
more
Quick, before I walk out that door
Quick, before it all ends in jeers
What a waste of all those beers
You better think of something quick because my suitcase is
packed
Quick, because I'm through being attacked
Are you really prepared to lose
All this just to air your views？
We're on the brink of something
Get me a drink of something quick between your outrageous
remarks
Like the mating calls of sarcastic sharks
Quick, before you can't take that back
Just before it all goes black
You better think of something quick before the midnight bell
chimes
You're living in dangerous times
Torture me for your amusement
About who will pay the rent
Who will pay the rent
Who will pay the rent
Who will pay the rent
Who will pay the rent
Who will pay the rent
15.All She Cares About Is Mariachi
You want to light your flame in her hibachi
Well brother I can tell you in advance
That all she cares about is mariachi
And all she ever wants to do is dance
Go there and wear your hair like Liberace
Go wear some freakish fragrance fresh from France
Friend all she cares about is mariachi
And all she ever wants to do is dance
So go ahead and hire Saatchi ＆ Saatchi
To advertise the sausage in your pants
But all she cares about is mariachi
And all she ever wants to do is dance
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